My kids went to school today. That's right. All four. All at the same time. Holly Jean started preschool this week. On Monday, she went in for an hour - Mike and I went with her, as did all of the kids - it was the first day that our school had opened. There was a beautiful chapel, and orientation, lots of celebrating for the little ones and the big kids (our school goes through 8th grade). HJ did not go on Tuesday. On Wednesday, again we went for a little while...but today...today was the big day. The day when she would get out of the car with her siblings, and walk in to the school on her own (with out ME!) and go to her teacher.
We prepared for this event yesterday. We switched her car seat with Charlie's to get her closest to the building. We discussed who would hold her hand (Caroline was chosen for the honor, with everyone else assisting.). Today, we were ready for school so early that we went on a tour around the neighborhood!!!
So, finally, we arrive in the carpool line. The kids beg for some theme music, so we blast "Forever on the Dance Floor."
It's you...and me...moving at the speed of light into eternity...
The kids unbuckle their seat belts and rush towards HJ's seat.
Feel the melody and the rhythm of the music around you, around you....
They unbuckle HJ, who is laughing and screaming and bumping out of her seat.
I'm gonna take you there, I'm gonna take you there, so don't be scared, I'm right here, ready?
Ruby's door slides open, and the teachers waiting for the kids are smiling at all of the little Burkes, welcoming Holly to school. The music is blasting, we are all dancing and cheering
It's like I've waited my whole life, for this one night, it's gonna be me and you on the dance floor...
The kids scramble for their backpacks, lift "sissy" out of the car, grab her hands, and off they go. There is so much excitement that they don't even say good-bye. I can see tears in some of the teachers eyes. Everyone is smiling. I close the door and I am alone with the music.
The kids scramble for their backpacks, lift "sissy" out of the car, grab her hands, and off they go. There is so much excitement that they don't even say good-bye. I can see tears in some of the teachers eyes. Everyone is smiling. I close the door and I am alone with the music.
We'll dance forever-ever-ever, forever-ever-ever, and ever-ever...Forever-ever-ever, Forever-ever-ever, Forever-ever...forever on the dance floor.
I turn the music off. I'm alone, and I want to surrender to the emotion of the moment...straining my neck as I watch them walk away in the rear view mirror. Straining more and more as they move farther and farther away. I feel sick, out of breath, a little free, very sad and exhilerated at the sight of my four children, walking arm and arm, together with joy and purpose...and without me there. It's okay.
When Holly Fitz passed away, her husband told us that the "big things" in life - the weddings, birthdays, trips - are not the things that make your memories. He told us that it is the smallest moments that make the memories of a life time. Forever I will remember what I saw in the rear-view mirror today. And I want to say THANK YOU to my beautiful children. Our years "at home"...the baby years...were a true gift. Nine years! I did it! (Mike would tell you...mostly on my own. Which is true, and that's okay too. Because Mike would have preferred to do it, if I had a talent that earned us more money than that of a pilot...and he would have done a better job!) I thank Mike for encouraging me and supporting me as I have stayed at home with our young children. I didn't miss a thing.
And here I am at home! I'm glad that I headed straight to the computer to write this down. Like every other day, it's a grand one. I am giving myself a pat on the back this morning...and carrying around a box of kleenex.
Thank you for sharing this moment with me! Have a wonderful day!
P.S. For all of the drama...you should know that HJ is only in school for the morning! She'll be back in a few hours, so I seriously have to get this place together!
